HUMOR (decent)

[IBV]

37 pages V 1 2 oersted(s) is greater than”

[Oncli]

Well why you always by matte finish are scolded?
- A I by it am not scolded. I by matte finish talk.

[Oncli]

Letter down that loved, written beyond the night.
No. Well, certainly I you do love, as you could doubt herself?
Indeed I: I love, when you snore at night, as one hundred thousand wounded bisons - this calms down me.
I love to scrape off your socks from under the bed, their odor renews room.
Love when you early in the morning, hours it is such beside 5, you come “based on the work” get tiredded, with by the scratched badly “mouse” back and before the pomade, which puts to use your “computer”.
I love, when you say that the new girl on your work not as is likable as it seemed yesterday you, because it was failed to converge with you down the dinner.
I love, when you work all output through.
I love, when you tell someone about those night clubs, which you visited in the last work week, terribly getting tired from the loads.
I love, when you say that cannot now for the sake of me talk, because chief in you under the table… above the table…, for the sake of something important it is occupied.
I love, when you say that improbably he got tired from this life and you urgently should leave beside the leave of absence in Bali to one…
I love, when you say that he wished to buy to me flowers, but all those were not pleased to you that you met to on- road from southwest to the natives of Kuzmin.
I love, when you understand, that I am shut by complete fool for the preservation of peace before the family and you support my gusts, telling increasingly more fictions.
I love your jealousy to all and entire, even when at night I clasp pillow, you snatch out it from my hands with the cries, “you again think about ??!! ” God! This so excites.
I hate before you only one, when you tell me “I I love you, dear”.
So that be plugged and sleep!
Response of that loved down the letter, written beyond the night.
I was dumbfounded, but he decided to answer. so here: dear, me it always astonished, that you push me at night with the request not to snore, confusing human snore with buzzing of its own cell phone, which is eternally by the third before the conjugal bed. True, it is necessary to give credit down you, it always buzzes under YOUR pillow.
Loved, coming about 5 mornings based on the work, I was always surprised, as competently you can yourself cheer up by rolling to me recurrent hysterics because of those scratches on the spin, that still in the morning left our grapnel, that each morning wakes me in order to obtain the recurrent portion of food, and pomade, by which you so also it did not wash off after it was missed past the cheek, after kissing me beside the collar.
, me infinitely pleases, the fact that you name girls, all my colleagues, taking into account that their middle age from 40 to 65.
Native my, I work by on- output, because to us eternally are not sufficient money down all those “trinkets”, possessing which you feel yourself by woman.
Sole my, if you was only more attentive, you would note that telling my friends about the clubs, which I visited on the week, I thoroughly hide the fact that it fell beside these clubs after your bell, with the request to take away you from there, since you is already tired and it is a little tumbling.
Thoughtful my, when I tell you that I cannot now for the sake of you talk, this it indicates only that the fact that 40 minutes, which we already spent on conversation about the problems of your friends, they ate entire my dinner time and it is already time to be returned to me to the work.
Tender my, I speak about the leave of absence in Bali beside the lone person, only because I wish to spend time exclusively with you and to finally eliminate your mom and two-three dear friends based on the tempering menu.
my, to me it is actually difficult to select to you worthy bouquet, so you always say that: roses - you love, but this is standard; lilies - too strongly smell, and all the remaining existing flowers, they have a number of completely weighty, down that of reasons.
With the good morning, loved!

[Oncli]

Aspirant # 9. woman was arrested during the flight, before which participated its son. Thus far it looked against that, as policemen it demonstrates to kiddies the work of the hauled down the narcotics search dog, dog found before its bag package with the grass.
Aspirant # 8. young person with the fowling-piece visited beside the small shop and required availability from the cashbox. After money submerged before the bag, he saw the great bottle of whiskey, and it required to add it to the money; however, was obtained based on the seller failure, in the seller was the doubts the fact that the robber achieved 21 year. After some altercations, the robber reached the driver laws and presented at the point of their seller, which, after careful study, it agreed with the legitimacy of obtaining alcohol and bottle beside the bag was packed. On what they parted. They however, parted temporarily, because after two hours robber was undertaken by police before her own apartment, since seller it imparted name and address, indicated before the laws…
Aspirant # 7. a certain lady turned herself beside the police with the statement about the car theft, after imparting in this case, that before the vehicle remained the cell phone. Officer rang on the telephone, said that, it is said, on the announcement before the newspaper and has long ago about this trolley he dreamed. Meeting was set up. They were met. Arrest, court, prison.
Aspirant # 6. decided one American national to rob bank. It went beside Bank of Of america, and on the form of contribution scratched something like “this , all money before it ”, after which it arose before the turn to the window. But here did visit its doubts, and suddenly someone did see, as that he did write? Can already police is called? And it left this bank, after being guided through the road down Wells Of fargo Of bank. Turn was there considerably less, and here is it, the desired moment: our hero stretches note to girl - operator. Operator, girl clever, on the orthography solved, that the robber will not clearly flash as far as mind, and it peacefully it answered, that this note take it cannot, since it is written on the form Of bank of Of america, but here Wells Of fargo. Therefore it can rewrite it on the form Of wells Of fargo or be returned down Bank of Of america. The slightly distressed robber, as it is not strange, left bank, but girl without delay rang beside the police. They took in its five minutes. Guess where? It is correct, through the road, before the turn to the window Of boA.
Aspirant # 5. one English driver was notched by automatic radar. After a certain time he obtained by mail based on the police receipt down 40 pounds and photo of his auto-. Instead of paying, he simply sent beside the police of the photo of 40 pounds. After several days he again obtained the envelope, before which was again photo, this time the photo… of handcuffs. The artistic force of this photograph proved to be imaginary - receipt was paid at the same day.
Aspirant # 4. on the court in Michigan, defendant on business about the storage of narcotics Christopher Janssen stated that he was searched without the formation. Prosecutor answered, that Janssen's jacket at the moment of search somehow strangely protruded, and in the officer was suspicions, that the pistol, but in this case formation to it was not necessary under the jacket. “Complete nonsense” - he did say Janssen, “I before the same jacket, as then, where to here hide pistol? ” With these words it removed jacket and gave down its justice. Which found before the pocket of jacket package with cocaine. Before the conference it was necessary to make break, since minutes five justice with difficulty could sit from the laughter.
Aspirant # 3. Oklahoma: Defendant on business about the armed robbery Denis Newton sent the line of his attorney and began to be protected itself, and in it even very good that was received, until prosecutor summons witness - to , manager of the robbed magazine, which identified him. Denis jumped, he accused besides the falsehood, and before the hearts he said “it's a pity that I did not shoot off your I am empty head! ”, truth having here rapidly added “if, of course, I was there…” In jurors was occupied only of 20 minutes in order to solve, that 30 years will be time itself…
Aspirant of # 2 Detroit: The going for a walk young person focused attention on the police unit, which showed the new computer, established before their patrol vehicle, to peripheral youngsters. At the point of a question, as this piece it works, policeman took in it laws and began to drive in data. Through several seconds of was tied about all rules, since the shield of computer it reproached it before the armed robbery, perfected two years ago beside g. Saint- Louis, state of Missouri.
Aspirant # 1. again Detroit: The pair of robbers broke beside the magazine of sound recording, nerve driving by the muzzles of revolvers from the side down the side. One of them began to bawl: “No one not to move!!! ”. When its partner twitched to the cashbox, accurate to his word, he shot down a partner.
Finally victor! One American Mr. purchased the box of very expensive and rare cigars. Such expensive and rare, that it them even insured, among all other and from the fire. Already they ended in the month of cigar, but it even did not introduce the first contribution on the policy. This did not prevent it from turn beside the insurance company with the statement, that the cigars were lost in connection with “a series of small fires” (it is here necessary to understand, that in the English “fire” and “fire” they are designated briefly fire - tonics, interpreter) company to pay it was failed, having reasonably answered, that, strictly, it used cigars in a most natural for the cigars manner. Well, then Mr. turned himself beside the court and… won matter. Before the forensic decision the justice recognized that initiation petition, let us directly say, unimportantly, but at the same time before the presence there is a policy, cigars are insured according to the fire, and this policy does not determine “desirability” or “admissibility” of any forms of fire. So that insurers one should pay.
Insurers did not begin to with the long and expensive appeals and they paid off 14000dollars at the point of “burnt” cigars. To however, take pleasure by new cigars it was impossible, since immediately this Mr. was arrested after obtaining of present for the sake of the check. On the basis the same policy and his significative indications on the court, he was accused besides 24 occurences of the intentional annihilation of the insured equipment through the arson. Sum of the new process - 24 months of prison and 38000dollars of penalty.

[Oncli]

BLAME IT SWELLED
England - sir Vincent
Kazakhstan - Of
Armenia - Of
Belgium - de 's
Brazil - of sauce Lima by Francisco Of de Santa Maria
Germany - Wilhelm von
- Vincent van
Georgia - Of
Denmark - Of





Indonesia -
India - Of
Iraq - To Of
Iran - Of
Ireland - Of '
Italy - Vincent Dale
Spain - Don Of
Cameroons - Of
China - faults not swelled
Lebanon - Of
Nigeria - To Of
Norway - Gunnar
Russia - Vladimirovich
Saudi Arabia - sheik of the faults of al Nasser the ale Of S Of
France - d `To
Sweden - faults Of
Scotland - Of
Republic of South Africa - Of
Japan - To Of

[Oncli]

PROVERBS AND SAYINGS BY THE SCIENTIFIC LANGUAGE
“The dualistic principle of the utilization of agricultural guns on
hydro-surface " (by pitchforks on water )
“The binary nature of the statements of the individual of that lost the social
activity " (grandmother in two she said)
“The problems of transport of fluids before the vessels with the variable structure
density " (to carry water before the screen)
“The optimization of the dynamics of the work of taxed means of transportation,
with the elimination of originally destructive transport unit " (ram to cart -
to mare more easily)
“The weakly expressed urgency of the application of key-actuated tools on Wednesday
the persons of spiritual rank " ( to priest accordion)
“Nonstandard methods of the treatment of scoliosis via departure of ritual services”
(hump-shaped grave it will correct)
“The problems of an increase in of the oxide of diatomic hydrogen
mechanically " (to pound water before the mortar)
“The latent possibilities of the utilization of verbal means of contact for
the optimization of labor " (it went on…)
“The positive effect of the low coefficient of intellect beyond the increase
the aggregate of tasks before the process of the realization of labor activity (work
it loves fools)
“The solipsism of poultry with respect to of the detachment
artiodactyl " (goose to pig not comrade)
“Characteristic external signs as occasion for the usurpation most
favorable social status on the market " (with the porcine snout yes beside the
number)
“Anthropomorphic approach to the creation of marriage cell” (to whom and the mare
bride)
“The syndrome of failure besides , which is leant beyond the absence of the possibilities
the rapid identification of individual " (I not I, and horse not my)
“The effect of seasonal- weather conditions beyond the process of the bookkeeping account
feathered " (chickens on the autumn are counted)
“Ambivalent nature of the neuron pulses, emitted by the cortex of the main
the brain " (it wishes, and it is split)
“Laws governing the relationship of the length of become keratinized nep with the quantity
gray substance in the cranium " (hair it is long, yes mind it is short)
“The variety of the juridical Act, which prevails above the currency means”
(persuasion of more expensive than money)
“The inadmissibility of the utilization of typical elements of housing architecture with
the negative of the culminating manifestation of contemplative- tactile emotions "
(love not potato, you will not throw out beside the window)
“The neutrality of gustatory characteristicss of the plant of the family of the Cruciferae on
to relation to the vegetable cultures of the middle strip of Russia " (horseradish of horseradish not sweeter)
“The properties of mental- defective persons before the context
accomplishing state normative Acts " (fools rush in where angels fear to tread)
“The absence of progress- regress before the metabolism of organism with the change
the relationship of grease and carbohydrates before the traditional dish of the settled peoples " (paste
you will not damage for the sake of oil)
“The place of before pyramidal type hierarchical systems” (it is any
cricket know your hearth)
“Laws governing the increase of the personal value of person after obtaining
traumatic experience " (at the point of one that beaten of two of those not beaten they give)
==============
Talented phrases:
On the interesting work and sleeps interesting you see…
Cannot love, sit be friends!
Intelligent people never will begin to drink by the neck, if there is an empty food can!
It is good to be battleship. It took tower - four remained.
Coccyx - this small, very small American policeman.
It has this amusing accent… as if it she spoke down trans-whetherthose.
Earlier me tormented different questions. Different responses now torment. (' about me!)
“Movement for legalization well although anything”
Antelope eat little, precisely, therefore them so they name.
“Prunes” - this is something of Praseodymium- technologies?
The fact that no one saw house, yet does not mean that there are not. The fact that many saw me, yet does not mean that I there is.





Here, I write you, my friend, letter.
- Here, I tie to you, my friend, socks.

[Oncli]

If people drove vehicles also, as they p on p
" (pp on the telephone and from those of p)
" the technician: Driver of those of p. How we can help?
" the driver: This… Vehicle in me is not cranked up.
" the technician: . What in your vehicle of p, model, and the year of release?
" the driver: But I… his p knows! I it bought beside the magazine to drive, from where to me
" to know…
" the technician: p-p, . p to be bridged without this
" p… (breath) you have gasoline before the tank?
" the driver: Gm… Gasoline before the tank, you p… But as I do learn?
" the technician: H of p panel you p. Where p does show, on “E” or on “F”?
" the driver: But where the p panel?
" the technician: It is located to p as a result of p if you you sit before the driver
" to p.
" the driver: A! I see. :. tack… But here p is much, p of them
" to p?
" the technician: You p down that, by p with the p written to E or F. there still can
" to be gasoline pump p.
" the driver: ! I see. p shows down zero.
" the technician: How down zero?
" the driver: Aha. p down zero. But another p with the p it is written
" \ “x1000 \”. This that the model of my vehicle? Ex-thousand?
" the technician: (deep breath with the rolling of eyes) H, this not p, this
" p. It must show down zero if vehicle it is not brought.
" p of p is usually left and less than p, and it is must on it
" to be written \ “E \”, then p, then \ “F \”.
" the driver: . See- see! p to p between E and F.
" the technician: It is excellent! On p p we know that p in you there is. ppp of p. You do see p?
" the driver: To .
" the technician: You h p to p…
" the driver: (audibly p \ “ \”) OH! This it so must make?
" the technician: (rolling eyes) entire p, this is your signal. If it
" it p, means with p in you entire p. pp to bring vehicle.
" the driver: , pancake, I to p that is not cranked up. Therefore I ring, cudgel.
" the technician: (p by teeth) I everything after all give p again! You h on
" clutch pedal, press beyond p, and you p key.
" the driver: -! Give on p. Where in me \ “the pedal of engagement \”?
" the technician: H… Under p to the left. H?
" the driver: H.
" the technician: You press down it to p. Thus. pp under p two
" pedal?
" the driver: To .
" the technician: Left of them - p. You h down it. H?
" the driver: H.
" the technician: pp key before the ignition.
" the driver: And as I to p key, if in me both p are already occupied?
" the technician: You p?
" the driver: By left p I press for the engagement, by the p of p down p as
" I must to you keys p, he p?
" the technician: (it chokes from the laughter). Thus, give p first, only on
" this p on the pedal you press by struts.
" the driver: By h? But p so is possible?
" the technician: (still by choking from the laughter) it is possible.
" the driver: p… Oh, and so it is more convenient… That zh you to me to p not
" they said… (it is audible fuss). H.
" the technician: pp key before the ignition to p.
" the driver: But where i have ignition?
" the technician: Before the base of p, p.
" the driver: . In me p exists, but there is no key before it.
" the technician: H so insert it.
" the driver: Whom?
" the technician: (p p) the key of ignition!
" the driver: But as I do learn the p in me key of ignition?
" the technician: (being sufficient against the head) this usually the greatest key on the cluster.
" the driver: H to cluster?
" the technician: Yes, where you p all the remaining keys…
" the driver: ! So I its p of of day ago. So to me key it is must?
" the technician: (it p to p) To ….
" the driver: To , to ?

[Oncli]

Ida home based on the work, mood good, wage obtained. Since I live
by parents, I do decide to ring and to request, it can anything buy necessary?
I ring, satisfied:
- Moms, what to buy?
- Buy apartment, cattle, and live separately!

[Oncli]

Children - you will explain what is the leakage of the brains is?
- In your case, this is head cold…

[Oncli]

Recollections based on the exhibition:
Before you rare masterpiece - “portrait of unknown”. This is earlier
the unknown copy based on the picture of unknown artist, done unknown
by whom, it is unknown when, and it is unknown as fallen beside our museum.

[Oncli]

To me today gypsy at the point of 50 Baxes foretold, that I am oleaster.

[Oncli]

Formula of cocktail “idiot”:
150 deg. Coca-Cola
50 deg. Hennessy of the X.

[Oncli]

Sweden, Stockholm. One in the morning. Peterson ferments along the streets of night city
based on the hangover. To drink necessary, and all magazines are closed! Suddenly it is encountered on
the peasant:
- To drink you do wish?
- You request!!!
- The bottle of vodka exists.
- It is how much?





Horseradish with you, give!
- On. You will want still - ring, peasant stretches the shred of paper.
Happy Peterson is returned home, is opened bottle, it swallows…
Lines!!! Instead of the vodka - water! Evil Peterson rings on the telephone. Carotid
vote he says:
- The dispatcher of the water-conducting service of Stockholm you listens to…

[Oncli]

I did not comprehend that you said, but I with you am not completely agreeable.

[Oncli]

Vodkas are better to drink liter than not to drink vodka liter!

[Olice]

The former stewardess described. Before the aircraft they earlier gave modest framing -
hen, sandwich and boiled egg. Eggs were blue, their no one almost ate.
Stewardesses took away after food everything to themselves beside the kitchen. Eggs formed on
tray in order to give out to the then following trip…
And here aircraft proceeds with landing. Stewardess because of the shutter on this kitchen
it prophesies:
- The respected comrades are passengers! Our aircraft through several minutes
it will complete landing before Sverdlovsk city. If you please, fasten the belts
and…
Here it sees, as because of the inclination of egg based on the tray they begin to be rolled up on
floor and to be divided off, (being turned down its ) everything beside the same microphone
wildly it yells:
- You keep eggs!!!





37 pages V 1 2 oersted(s) is greater than”

[IBV]

37 pages of the V < 1="" 2="" 3="" 4=""> ”

[Olice]

If oligarch “tortured nostalgia” and it strives to be returned at the point of the native land - does mean this that in it commonplace they were finished money?!
Alfred Nobel sits around the skies and thinks - and why this Americans solved, which in order to become Nobel laureate down “the peace prize” is necessary to mandatorily do what- filament filth of Russia?!
During the speech against the inauguration J. Bush promised before the next four years to struggle at the point of the freedom in all other countries of world. In particular he said: “I turn myself down those, who now sits in the prison on the political motives, know - you are the future leaders of your countries”. Represent, as was gladdened Saddam Hussein.

[Oncli]

George (e) causes (k) and he tells before it that miller it is necessary as that to on the new. In John was here, for example, . In Bill - Monica…
: But to you this is not must…
D: ?
: But in you their wholes three…
D: ??
: Well as… Georgia, the Ukraine and Lithuania…

[HONGMON]

Classification of the drivers
1. it is clean boy.
Trolley - is clean , casting, blue bulbs, Chinese ,
- music. Before the tower however - air, there is no even filings.
Erysipelas - blunt and complacent, shaven head and it is mandatory CAP on the afore-mentioned
to shaven tower…
Receptions with the ride - screech of rubber, pelleting by mud of passer-by, confused
along the road, being prevented absolutely by all, passage down the red with the risk
to obtain as far as Mercedes beside , impact beside the column. Calculus, on it control and
wreaths….
SPI is peaceful, the grandson of Schumacher….
2..
Erysipelas - black, unshaven, on the head cap - or fur hat.
Trolley - rusty, that is pierced as far as finger, that rings, and fuming
kopeck. Blue. Or brown. by bananas under the tectum itself.
As it drives: it calls to mind boy ( to it celestial), but through the flow to dart about is not received, because to be accelerated its kopeck can only under the zoom if we it push. As a result simply it dangles from the number before the number interfere witing to that surrounding. The engine is detonated on half way to Moscow, bananas gaily are rolled along the road…
3.
Erysipelas - bald and merry.
Trolley - dirty fuming KamAZ (Kama Automobile Plant).
As it drives: To as much, as it is possible to press besides KamAZ… Before the mirrors
not to look, to go down the red, to give beside to the Volga. To move out, to card
the decomposed according to the control turnip and to rapidly from those jumped out from the body
., will overtake?
3. summer resident.
Erysipelas - being been afraid in all before the light, including itself. It is mandatory before the cap. Trolley by brush the forty-first Muscovite with the trailer. Before the trailer - manure and pitchforks. On the tectum - sofa, two great buoys and the bag of rotten tomatoes, before the Muscovite - hero himself, mother-in-law, daughter, dog, two grapnels, seedlings, axe, saw, bag with some rubbish, of vodka before . As it drives: sixty before the left number with those permitted by 120, next to the same , not down what it reacts, since mirrors to it removed another year down the back, but down the new toad chokes… After falling asleep above the control to leave down the coming from the opposite direction and to beside the same . From the impact to awake, is sad to look down the pile of iron, to stick entire beside the trailer above the manure and to be drawn further on foot pushing the trailer before itself.
4. summer resident.
Erysipelas - tumbling.
Trolley - rotten Volga.
Receptions with the ride - at night, from the magazine of 24, where recently it bought
the bubble of precious oblique , without looking to be deployed through the double
solid, and to obtain beside as far as KamAZ 120.
5. gas l it is true.
Trolley - . Body ( of empty)
Erysipelas - young hangover cretin.
As: To go 80 before the left number next to KamAZ. Down the light, the whistles not to react.
To beside to passed through entire solid gelding, and remained life
to pay with its owner.
6..
Trolley - it is simple pelvis 2106.
Erysipelas - elderly, moustached and blunt.
To go on garden 40 before the left number. To see the raised hand and to jerk
to be reformed down the shoulder through all six numbers. To obtain the impact beside
by , to attempt to flee, it takes a long time to receive $#@ from the possessors .
the 7. cockroach.
Trolley - .
Erysipelas - greedy and insolent.
To pass down the red backwards on the coming from the opposite direction shoulder and to be the Urals.
8. .
Trolley - MB 5OO Of brabus
Erysipelas - it is never evidently above the post-scoring, they speak before the coat from as: To press sneaker beside the floor and to go away down the second near earth orbit, where and to remain, astonishing astronomers….
9..
Erysipelas - and erysipelas, and the skin, and thigh from take in - everything as must…
Trolley - freshlyn-draw off BMW Z3 - cabriolet.
As: After frightening on the embankment of the roar of the Oka without the muffler to jerk through
flow, and it is slow and it is sad to sink before the waves of the Moscow River:.
10.
Trolley - by the husband of daughter trying and rusty BMW728
Erysipelas - extremely strained from the attempts to comprehend, who it, to , however, and that on
matter itself all around it does occur…?
As: Before the assault of sclerosis and marasmus to based on the road and to lay through the forest
short road to the native village…
11-.
Trolley - eye without the muffler, but on the casting, and by patches “I will grow - I will be ”, “successes to , ”, and “not of ” erysipelas - 150 kilograms of force by weight is incomprehensible as before it accommodating (it apparently threw out anterior seats), with the , by nuts, and by all matters…
As: to jump on the hummock and to land already on the bottom, ivy according to the asphalt thrusts and levers and dispersing across the sides taken wheels .....
12.
Trolley - by language kopeck.
Erysipelas - trying and bearded, it is similar down .
As: to open garage, to rub through off for the sake of rag, to tin sleeve, to sigh,
to cover garage, to go home to sleep.
13.
Trolley - by grains, by spoilers and by sibilant
chisel.
Erysipelas - engaged before the wooden control from …
As - passing all and all, after gathering all pits, edgings and horizontal policemen,
all traffic cops; to the wedge without having arrived of kilometer against
and to stand after raising hand and being cursed - “to of the curve
, . “
14. (major)
Trolley - beaten beside and Ford it is blood Victoria.
Erysipelas - fleshy, moustached; with the trails of easy 15-year hard drinking.
As: To stand among the left zone Of and to wave by all stick with the requirement
to be stopped, to beside the tube and to give money. To accidentally very and
to pass away from that seen on the scale.
15. Guy (sergeant)
Trolley - rusty _05…
Erysipelas - young, insolent, and greedy.
As: To attempt to stop electric railway by rod from the port and very
to astonish after proving to be dressed down its deflector…
16. - the same Guy, but before … is characterized by the fact that he gorges down the hors d oeuvre
not sausage, but grease, but it drinks instead of …
Erysipelas - , beside three girths,





to go, crossing, on foot. . by the labor…
17. pedestrian.
Trolley - it decomposed .
Erysipelas - always pensive (to of to take) and (habit from
the decomposed trolley).
As: To jerk down the stop to the bus closing doors, after forcing
to beside the floor entire flow on the garden, and, without having had time to halt
to be hammered beside the covered doors by front, after obtaining the fracture of lower jaw and
the jolt of the remainder of the brain…

[HONGMON]

MotherFucker: Trip
Today I passed on the sites, on which the people associate and deal for the sake of any . There I discovered statement, that do the girl has on the name Of (we will name its victim) dog was lost. I for the sake of it talked before . Here is the conversation:
MotherFucker: Regards. This you trip did lose?
Victim: Yes. But you that did find?
MotherFucker: No. Excuse
MotherFucker: Me they call Sergey (correction - this my false name)
MotherFucker: I recently saw your announcement and wished to express my condolences
MotherFucker: What is your name?
Victim:
MotherFucker: When you did lose it?
Victim: Before these output
Victim: It is more exact on Saturday in the evening
MotherFucker: How this did happen? It did run away?
Victim: I am not assured. We were in the lake, they tied it so that it would not run away, and when they expiated that it was no longer
MotherFucker: I also recently lost dog, but immediately he went beside the magazine and bought the new
MotherFucker: I was so it was happy, because to me it fell short the ward
Victim: I can for long… mom with the brother again send him to seek
MotherFucker: What pity. How you do think, he is still living?
Victim: I hope
MotherFucker: I would wish to say the same
Victim: But your dog did die?
MotherFucker: Yes
Victim: To me it is very it's a pity. How?
MotherFucker: Internal hemorrhage beside the brain. The physician thus said
Victim: Physician?
MotherFucker: Well veterinarian. What difference
MotherFucker: I already badly remember. I was
Victim: It did shoot down vehicle?
MotherFucker: No
MotherFucker: I myself do not understand - all my dogs so die
MotherFucker: I with it played on the street, and she fell also from take in again it flowed the blood
Victim: Again?
MotherFucker: Listen to, I do not wish about this to talk
Victim: It is agreeable, excuse
MotherFucker: To me it is very heavy to survive the parting
MotherFucker: I threw out all its toys
Victim: This so is sad
MotherFucker: Yes
MotherFucker: Soon I will finish with all these by burials and I will forget
Victim: On which this is you?
MotherFucker: Nothing. Forget about this
MotherFucker: I no longer can about it think
MotherFucker: I can only represent by that at the point of you it is necessary to pass now
MotherFucker: To me it is very it's a pity
MotherFucker: Sole that rescues - the new dog
MotherFucker: I even do not know that with me was now, if there would be no Martha
MotherFucker: I down it so became accustomed, it to me as the nurse
Victim: YOUR DOG THEY DO CALL MARTHA?
Victim: Martha?
MotherFucker: In my opinion
Victim: What this does mean?
Victim: My dog they also called Martha
MotherFucker: Yes that you do speak?
Victim:
MotherFucker: If is honest, the blunt name
MotherFucker: I better named
MotherFucker: But so was written beyond the tag when I it found
Victim: IT DID FIND?
MotherFucker: But I that did say?
MotherFucker: I went past the lakes and on the road it stood the doggie
MotherFucker: I there live and drive constantly
Victim: I also here live
Victim: In you now Martha?
MotherFucker: Probably. But name is stupid. I did the following:
Victim: So you have my dog?
MotherFucker: Yes you wait
MotherFucker: Unfortunately dog responds only down the name Martha
MotherFucker: I more shortly seat it before the yard, I will withdraw further and to her call
Victim: Aha. Listen to as it does appear?
MotherFucker: Do not break
MotherFucker: To I to its call through entire yard, in my hands the bone
MotherFucker: I shout “Martha” and she runs through entire yard
MotherFucker: Thus dog knows that it they call Martha
MotherFucker: And when it does run so far, do know that I I do make?
Victim: What?
MotherFucker: I to by it on by the old belt, which remained after war from the grand-dad, based on plate down the floor of kilogram minimum.
MotherFucker: But then I shout: “!!!” “Your name !!!”
MotherFucker: Thus dog understands that it they call
Victim: It is not ridiculous
Victim: This is with the black and gray maculae?
MotherFucker: But from where you do know???
Victim: Where you it did find?
MotherFucker: I said. On the road, near the lakes
Victim: I lost dog on Saturday, and I live near the lakes
MotherFucker: It is interesting. Chances down the fact that this coincidence it will be repeated very little
Victim: You have my dog Martha
MotherFucker: It they call
MotherFucker: - this is me to excellent name
MotherFucker: All my dogs they called either or
Victim: When you did find it?
MotherFucker: How you do count, this worthy name?
Victim: ANSWER!!!
MotherFucker: Me it seems better than Martha
MotherFucker: Martha is name. What of its thus did name?
MotherFucker: I found it near the lake
MotherFucker: It there type was tied
MotherFucker: But survey does not stop dogs. Better as one should train
Victim: You did steal my dog?
MotherFucker: To train it was necessary… And to strike more often
Victim: AH YOU IS BASTARD!
Victim: If you now do not bring Martha, then I will ring beside the police
MotherFucker: It is possible another hunger of them to keep - it helps
Victim: LISTEN TO!!!
MotherFucker: Then they more attentively listen to your commands
Victim: Sergey!!!
MotherFucker: But it is possible to still beyond the night cover them before the tank, under the cold shower
Victim: THIS IS NOT RIDICULOUS!!! ANSWER ME!
MotherFucker: Meaning before is shorter earning of confidence and proving - who in the house the owner
MotherFucker: I invented new methodology - he is named
Victim: Sergey, if you please answer, you do not represent as I I am disturbed above to March
MotherFucker: - hunger, cold, , cold and again
MotherFucker: She did comprehend?
MotherFucker: - best methodology for the education of the dogs
Victim: WHERE YOU DO LIVE?
MotherFucker: … Wait the second
Victim: If in you my dog - you must to me it return!!!
Victim: This , do not joke so based on
Victim: YOU STILL HERE?
MotherFucker: Yes you wait. This of twig wrote down the sofa
Victim: If you to us return it - we pay the fee
Victim: Although a little, we greater do not have any
Victim: By it! You here?
Victim: Sergey!
MotherFucker: Oh
Victim: What did happen?
MotherFucker: I to it too strongly hammered
MotherFucker: The blood flowed… Again as in all remaining
Victim: Sergey discontinue, to me it is already bad
Victim: If you please say that you you will lie, otherwise I will ring beside the police
MotherFucker: It is good
Victim: SO YOU ?
MotherFucker: , listen to me time to go
Victim: SO YOU OR NOT?
MotherFucker: In general I do not know that such “you ”; therefore I cannot you answer
MotherFucker: . I hate to dig the pits
Victim: YOU OF THE CURRENT THAT OF TO DO TO MY DOG
MotherFucker: Yes you
Victim: YOU DO THINK THIS SO RIDICULOUSLY?
Victim: YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MotherFucker: Listen to I I do here live not far… you can to me lend spade?
Victim: ON !!! I RING BESIDE THE POLICE
MotherFucker: Wait… It in my opinion still breathes
Victim: I RING BESIDE THE POLICE
Victim: BETTER SAY PRAVDA TO ME
MotherFucker: . . Simply nerves twitched themselves…
Victim: I YOU GOAT WILL FIND AND WILL KILL!!! YOU DID COMPREHEND?
MotherFucker: But you before the course that hair and nails in dogs do grow even after death?
Victim: DIE
MotherFucker: But even in them dump gases…
MotherFucker: And they
MotherFucker: Pravda this is strange?
MotherFucker: ?
MotherFucker: To ?
MotherFucker: Since down the count of spade?
Message of was of sent. User is Of afvline.Dhi of message of will be of delivered of when of user of goes Of online.

[GETvMON]

QUOTE (uncle @ Jan 302018, 08:19 PM)
Ida home based on the work, mood good, wage obtained. Since I live
by parents, I do decide to ring and to request, it can anything buy necessary?
I ring, satisfied:
- Moms, what to buy?
- Buy apartment, cattle, and live separately!





..... I cried!!!!!
this about me!!!!!!!

[Oncli]

Which would not be desirable to hear, lying beyond the operating table:
1. !
2. Who- filament it did see my hours?
3. I why I so yesterday did tear!?
4. of companies! Before the instructions someone tore out 47- yu page!
5. A well- kiloamperes, bear conversely! Poor trip!
6. tariffs! It already has children, not so whether!?
7. A well- kiloamperes they pressed! Through half-hour football!
8. nurse, give to me… this… … as him….….your mother…!!!
9. So- so, associate! If this is appendix, then here is this
what such!?
10. here is infection! They again chopped off light!
11. Everything ago! In me the contact lens fell!
12. Well that zh, associate! Today's operation - good lesson for all us!

[Olice]

Uncle , when you all do manage? Be omnipresenting you our!
And another pair of the :
1. Arab sheik travelled on Europe and fell in love himself for the sake of the European. Here its dad tells his friends: - It is shorter, he tells me - if you at the point of me marry give it, I will pay at the point of it as much gold, as she weighs. Well, I it answer, that before this question to hurry not necessary, let us have a talk in the month. - Yes, you laws, these sheiks with their strange laws… it is here necessary to think. Pope: - To here think not necessary. Girl here fed must be!
2. woman - as the Internet: to someone of m., to someone of net.

[HONGMON]

It: “I will order . To you to order anything”?
It: “No”.
It: “Ok”.
It: “… Or possibly…”
It: “Well so that”?
It: “I do not know”.
It: “You not , whether you anything”?
It: “No”.
It: “You to eat do wish”?
It: “I do not know. Surely”.
It: “Which does mean? surely? :.?”
It: “Well I simply yet do not know”.
He: “If I am hungry, then I this feel”.
It: “I can then I will want”.
He: “Then I order to you also”.
It: “A if I will be then in no way hungry”?
He: “Well so you will not be”.
It: “But the same extravagance”.
It: “Then you will leave to itself for tomorrow”.
It: “A if I do not tomorrow want ”?
He: “ always can be eaten”.
It: “I, no”.
It: “Well so select at the point of itself anything another”.
It: “But I nothing other wish”.
He: It " means nevertheless ”.
It: “No”.
It: “Then nothing”.
It: “No”.
It: “I with you here based on the mind will descend”.
It: “Order thus far anything for itself”.
It: “As you know”.
It: “Only by to with the ham”.
It: “I do not love ham”.
It: “At the point of that I”.
He: “I thought I I will order thus far anything for ME”?!
It: “Well yes”.
It: “Then moreover here ham”:.?
It: “Before that case if I am starved, when your food
it ".
It: “I”:.?
It: “Well not really you do think that I will be, he does not the fact that me please”?
It: “Why? You? ”?
It: There is no “A why”?
It: “Wait, wait. If I you did correctly comprehend, I must order anything TO ITSELF, that you could eat, if nevertheless suddenly ”?
It: “It is correct”!
It: However, “A that then will be I”?
It: “Well I can and I will not be starved”.
P.S. regional court agreed with the necessary defense and recognized
by its not guilty besides the murder before the condition of passion.

[HONGMON]

25 phrases, which speak our heifers (therefore we them we love!!!)
1. I this ENTIRE … I adore this taste!
2. you is confident, that you sufficiently did drink? Give purchase to you one additional beer?
3. to me something it is boring… Give that let us shave me between struts.
4. it is agreeable to you! Give let us look good , let us buy the box of beer, shoals somewhat will smoke out… And can let us invite your friend let us triple three?
5. god you my, if I now not to suction, then I will die!
6. I do know that through the back to you it is heavier, but perhaps you again will try? Well, if you please!
7. you such sexual, when based on !
8. I better looked with you football and would drink beer how she would be hauled on the magazines.
9. give let us sign down Hustler.
10. you would wish to look, as I will lick in my girl friend?
11. But that give beside the supermarket it is converged, backside ?
12. I beside the garage! You should before the flannelette vary oil…
13. Your Sunday departures on the flannelette so please me. It is pitiful, that you do not have any on Saturdays of time in order to travel a little!
14. loved! Our new in the neighbor again stark naked fires, let us go let us look!
15. I solved, that I will nothing carry house, except leather pants.
16. no, no, do not drive off vehicle to change oil, I house vary.
17. Your mom so brought up well you!
18. Do favor, from the head this about the day SV Valentina, give let us better buy anything new for .
19. certainly, I understand everything! Fir tree- stick, anniversary we have each year, but is more important, when you drive together with the friends! This indeed so healthily removes stresses.
20. What this you house do sit? Perhaps you must not be before the bar with the friends?
21. Lord, again beside this supermarket? Give better it is converged beside the new strip tease- bar!
22. Listen to, I earn sufficiently money in order to contain us both. Why to you not to leave work and not to be transmitted with the friends at the point of the journey before the country?
23. , to you it is necessary to be poured out well, you finish these domestic stupidities.
24. here this you is healthy ! Give again!
25. I now will on to yogi go so that to you it would be more conveniently clasp the struts your neck!

[Oncli]

Announcement. I will be introduced down a good person for the love and the friendship. On itself: an increase in 170 centimeter(s), long hair, azure eyes, tender silky skin, luxurious bust! To ring at night. To request Vladimir .

[Oncli]

TO ALL! TO ALL! TO ALL!
IF TO YOU BEFORE RETAIL THEY PROPOSE LOG MORE EXPENSIVE THAN ON 8 10 KOPECKS, LEARN FROM WHOM IT WORKS THIS , AS THEY CALL IT, INDICATE THE EXACT POSITION OF POINT AND IMPART TO ME.
I THEIR * WILL DRY AT THE POINT OF SUCH THINGS!
RECOMMENDED - MEANS FINAL, WITH OUR ESTABLISHED PRICE BESIDES THE LOG BEFORE RETAIL, 8 (EIGHT) .
WHO DISTURBS THIS PRICE - THEY WILL HAVE A CONVERSATION.
TEL. 0-044-537-2635Andrey, BUSTLING (it earlier gave incorrect number, you will excuse)
8-750-385-6694- my mobile.
OKRAINEPRN@JOMDEX.NA - UNCLE OF

[HONGMON]

WHAT such is woman? (very research) from the point of view of the men
Woman - this such entity, which…





barbershop and it leaves from there with the hair,
cut down one millimicron





you this second robbed its blind grandmother,
but in this case categorically it rejects to explain,
than it is unhappy. Procedure as a whole is named “what
Meaning is something to explain , does not understand
Elementary things… “





it puckers in this case





tailed mammals appear completely equally





in this case it is confident, which drives your vehicle of better you





orgasm or not





Three code phrases are used with the contact with the bag:
“Oh, that this? ”, “from where this undertook?” and “where this disappeared?”.
Down the sentence to introduce order before the transporting capacity,
after throwing out from there excess , the broken off heels
and the telephone directories of Cairo, it very deeply





the centimeters





physical satisfaction from the march Of





by television set before the pose “of heel across the sides”,
before which any man would earn the dislocation of the hip
joints already for the second minute





the case “it is simple so, down the future”





struts drags before them the pitiful existence





the remarkable actor





to telephone. With the man, who was mistaken by the number





completely it does not know how to throw the grenade





it begins for the sake of the words
“You, probably greatly will astonish, that you writes the woman”





down one postcard, sent by man,
five postcards, transmitted by the woman come,





even being located before the latter stage of the dystrophia





to mathematical expression the sum
money, but in this case not it is capable of recalling - on that





by the names:
agar-agar, , depilatory, , to ….
And he knows as to use them





what if not you - it would be now…
Versions
- on
- down ten kilograms it is more ordered
- down “-”
- on the ninth month of the pregnancy
- on the diet from the black roe and the pineapples
- in seventh heaven from the happiness
- on the scene “of metro”





, and versions slightly are changed.
It proves to be, if not you, it would be now…
- down the step from ….
- on before its mom
- on the antidepressants
- on the knives with the entire world
- on the panel





form leaves of lettuce, but in this case by the tons
it devours the chocolate candies





to climb up before to the priest





by the figure of hamster, by the nature of viper and by the physiognomy
boxer . And here it tries to take
this mutant down the hands and to kiss beside flattened





strange husbands are seen as far as the pair of higher,
down the pair of sizes it is thinner, and earning on
pair of thousands are more than their inherent





by shoe. And it thoughtful buys for them the fascinating
houses - with the red tectum, the tube and the windows
before the flower. Functioning as the gas chambers





magazine was applied the specially trained man,
in order to open them





hundreds of pages in detail it is told about that,
as Mary it was possible to hook rich Bill
via care besides it, when it, in turn,
the strongest head cold hooked





to explain, on what precisely without looking, they bring
to small familial catastrophe)

[Olice]

If woman works - this is her services.
If man works - this is his very first responsibility.
If man does not work, then he is rag.
If woman does not work, she is exhausted by domestic work and receives at the point of it not the drop of commendation.
The woman, who takes leave of absence at the point of the care of child, a mother has down this complete law.
The man, who takes leave of absence at the point of the care of child, rag and more not down that it is capable.
If woman does not pay at the point of itself in the restaurant, which means, it is agreeable, so that they would entertain it.
If man does not pay at the point of himself in the restaurant, then he is rag Alphonse.
If woman does not wish to be occupied by sex, then head aches in it.
If man does not wish to be occupied by sex, then he is heartless bastard.
If woman follows herself, then she is real woman.
If man follows itself, which means, it .
If girl plays with the boys, she is fine person.
If boy plays with the girls, then he will grow by rag.
However, it is not worth forgetting, also, about the fact that:
If man requires order, he peasant that is must.
If woman requires discipline - it dissatisfied .
If man do not please some woman, its this personal opinion.
If some woman does not please woman, then this is common female envy.
If man do not please some man, his this personal opinion.
If woman does not please some man, which means, it him it wishes, but it - it does not exist.
If man attained increase on the service, then he deserved it.
If woman moved on the service, which means, it was necessary to traverse many beds.
If man wrote brilliant novel, it is recognized itself by genius.
If woman wrote brilliant novel, then, in the first place, this was long ago, and its husband in the second place, wrote at the point of it.
If man flirts with the woman, which means, it it pleases.
If woman flirts with the man, then she lost entire shame.
If man speaks, then there is that to say to him.
If woman speaks, then her he is desirable to have a talk.
If man drinks, then he has the right sometimes a little to be weakened.
If woman drinks, then she is alcoholic.
If man are dissatisfied subordinated, which means, they they committed errors.
If woman is dissatisfied subordinated, which means, in it premenstrual syndrome.

[Olice]

Young son against the father arrived
And he said, confusing: “I love to itself found,
Frequently I am encountered for the sake of it.
I give chocolate to it,





But my experience , Pope, before the plan of sex "
I listening posts do not have. Listen to, children,
Popes this response is not florid.
“Not before the gifts matter is son. Stupidity and absurdity!
Emergence here always one. Woman - as fortress.
This fortress must be taken
By tenderness and by kindness.
Force can be used,
But always cautiously.
You be set, once already arrived,
And listen to, the crumb
- It is good with the sex before the life!
But - it is bad without the sex.
Short excursion beside the wonderful peace
Peace of the contradictions
We with you will complete
Before this wonderful evening.
If girl is itself
It scores the cup
And looks on your pocket -
This is prostitute.
It is better not to go with them,
Since, by the way,
To me in the year not to pay the cost of that night.
If girl with you,
But then with The ,
But the next morning with Mustafa -
This is simple .
With it is possible so, just once,
If it is entirely dull,
But do not be thrust to it, son,
Without .
If girl with another even on ,





This of .
To you not to excite them,
Here, son, another.
It is better immediately to envelop
Lesbos by side.
If you caressed it,
But it kept silent.
If you reached it,
But it retracted,
Lot of the woman of such,





This will confirm any -
Woman of .
If it goes above you
Boy it is constant,
This boy of azure,
Which is very dangerous.
Away chase it sooner
Without the rounds of test,
Let it run to seek the friends
Among down itself the similar.
If you, Andrey, Ivan
With Tonya and -
Beat the green drum -
This is . Before this there is some meaning,
I do not object,
Because even thought
This excites.
I please on one you,
Be bridged without mud.
I will not permit you,
Pancake, accidental communications.
You one to yourself find,
Wench on more decent





And, already once you before this got in,





Safest sex -
Sex on the telephone.

[Oncli]

QUOTE (Alice @ Feb 49004, 12:17 PM)
If woman works - this is her services.
If man works - this is his very first responsibility.
If man does not work, then he is rag.
If woman does not work, she is exhausted by domestic work and receives at the point of it not the drop of commendation.
The woman, who takes leave of absence at the point of the care of child, a mother has down this complete law.
The man, who takes leave of absence at the point of the care of child, rag and more not down that it is capable.
If woman does not pay at the point of itself in the restaurant, which means, it is agreeable, so that they would entertain it.
If man does not pay at the point of himself in the restaurant, then he is rag Alphonse.
If woman does not wish to be occupied by sex, then head aches in it.
If man does not wish to be occupied by sex, then he is heartless bastard.
If woman follows herself, then she is real woman.
If man follows itself, which means, it .
If girl plays with the boys, she is fine person.
If boy plays with the girls, then he will grow by rag.
However, it is not worth forgetting, also, about the fact that:
If man requires order, he peasant that is must.
If woman requires discipline - it dissatisfied .
If man do not please some woman, its this personal opinion.
If some woman does not please woman, then this is common female envy.
If man do not please some man, his this personal opinion.
If woman does not please some man, which means, it him it wishes, but it - it does not exist.
If man attained increase on the service, then he deserved it.
If woman moved on the service, which means, it was necessary to traverse many beds.
If man wrote brilliant novel, it is recognized itself by genius.
If woman wrote brilliant novel, then, in the first place, this was long ago, and its husband in the second place, wrote at the point of it.
If man flirts with the woman, which means, it it pleases.
If woman flirts with the man, then she lost entire shame.
If man speaks, then there is that to say to him.
If woman speaks, then her he is desirable to have a talk.
If man drinks, then he has the right sometimes a little to be weakened.
If woman drinks, then she is alcoholic.
If man are dissatisfied subordinated, which means, they they committed errors.
If woman is dissatisfied subordinated, which means, in it premenstrual syndrome.





Alice! The same the branch OF DECENT humor oh, I do not can….

[Oncli]

Piggishness

[Oncli]

1…

[Oncli]

This must be on that each respecting itself

[NODoRASE.SAM.OA]

37 pages of the V < 1="" 2="" 3="" 4=""> ”

[IBV]

37 pages of the V < 1="" 2="" 3="" 4="" 5=""> ”